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Consultation With Miso Sushi
A Skit by Ginat Rice
MacroLover: [Knocking] Jello, Jello
Miso Sushi: Who's there?
MS: Lettuce who?
ML: Lettuce begin. How do I do?
MS: Hmmm.…Your stomach is weak.
ML: Really! Gosh, I thought I feel fine.
MS: And also….spreen—not so good.
ML: My God, stomach, spleen…I’m soiled.
MS: And also….kid-e-ney—baad.
ML: You mean..?
MS: Yes. Sex organs.
MS: Sushi! Please enjoy.
ML: I’m internally grateful! [Coughs violently.] This cough is killing me.
MS: Take coffin drops!
ML: What do I have, Miso?
MS: My diagnosis is Orthodox Nervosa. In other words, you are one jumpy Yid, an Acidic Jew (twirls side locks and raises hands).
ML: Wow! What’s the cause?
MS: Too much fruitful and multiplying.
ML: What should I do?
MS: Jew your food very well.
ML: But I’m not even chewish. Can I get a second opinion?
MS: Yes, you’re Irish too.
MS: Irish you’d bring nine more students. Then I’d have the ten scribes.
ML: Miso, how are my eyes?
MS: Something smells between them.
ML: And my tonsils?
MS: One says to the other, “The doctor is taking us out tonight!”
ML: What will my surgeon say?
MS: “That’s enough out of you!”
ML: Should I eat anything special?
MS: Gorilla. Gorilled seeds and gorilled vegetables.
ML: What would happen if I have some chicken?
MS: You’ll wake up at the quack of dawn.
ML: If I want to lose some weight, can I have fish?
MS: Stay away from the scales.
ML: Ketchup okay?
MS: Ketchup with me in another 6 weeks.
ML: What would happen if I have some rabbit?
MS: Your nose will be shiny, because the rabbit’s powder puff is on THE END!